Make up your mind, Mama Nature...

Platitudes are a boring way to open a post, but I can't help it: "What's with the weather lately?"

Beautiful, sunny, picnics one day; thunderstorms, torrential rains the next. Frankly, I would prefer some consistency. But then again, I wouldn't want to mess around with Mama Nature and her inimitable power.

All in all it's been an eventful week.

On Monday, Miss DB roped me into watching "Made in Dagenham" with her. It was free and fabulous. I enjoyed it immensely, not only for the girl power message it inspired, but because it surpassed my non-existent expectations.

On Tuesday, I caught up with an old work mate and enjoyed some good food, conversation and coffee. The sweet waitress forgot to serve our beverages because the order was apparently cut off at the very edge of the docket-- cue: free chips and sauce. To be honest, I didn't mind that it was taking so long because coffee isn't really my thing, but enjoyable conversation is. In the end, we were served by the most attentive waitstaff on the planet, and by the time we left, we and they were all smiles: redeemed.

Wednesday and Thursday consisted mostly of high quality girl talk. All I can say is that Miss DB, Miss K Kaif and Ms CalmFarm entertained my mind and and my saved hiney a number of times this week.

And Friday, sweet Friday- more picnics, noodle markets and joviality. What's not to love for the week's end?

Some photos:

Miss Tiny, Miss DB and Miss LondonLook and I in the park (when the weather was happy):

Any sneaky birds lurking? On Wednesday, a bird landed a white capsule on my skirt. I didn't know it was poo, until I casually tried to flick it off, thinking it was fluff. Ultimate fail, it shattered into a line of runny white on my blacker than black skirt:


Friday marked the death of Miss K Kaif's glamourous computer mouse. Pink and diamondy, it will never be replaced:


The always wise and insightful Ms CalmFarm:



Saturday- I introduced Miss EBae to the Bourke St Bakery. As with all things direction-related, I couldn't remember how to get there. Miss EBae used her noodle and in the absence of a printer and iphone, took a photo of her street map. It worked a treat and we got there like smooth criminals:

Surry Hills Pub Art:



And then, Mama Nature turned-- down came the rains:

... we sought refuge in the best place on the planet- the library:



... and rejected all the high quality books at our disposal and indulged in some celebrity gossip:



To end on a musical note, this is my favourite song of the moment: Brooke Fraser's Something in the Water: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5C-YHSy3Fw&feature=related

Have a top week xx

It's that time of the month...

See that there? I think it's the monthly unveiling of the full moon.

Not only that, but judging by the confessions of two of the five boys in our office this morning, it's also "that time of the month":

Mr Russia (scowling, growling and fiery): "I'm so crab-byyyyy! I think it's that time of the month."

Mr Funky Glasses (mildly agitated, more precise and matter of fact): "It's my second day of that time of the month."

Sorry boys, but suck it up- you have no concept of that time of the month- so zip your lips, and forever hold your peace. Because if you ever ever complain about "that time of the month" when us girls are actually ploughing through "that time of the month", you just might get your balls slammed.

Oldie but a goodie...

This is an email I received in March. It scored an honorable mention on Miss K Kaif's "Moments in time when I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna cry from the pain." She recovered and set about finding it from the depths of her inbox. I post it below for your pleasure/pain:

Subject: FW: Office Dares

One-Point Dares

1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.

6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

Three-Point Dares

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout,"dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle".Then wink and pout.

8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

Five-Point Dares

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.

6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.

15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight".

F-I-T spells ...

My sister is in the throes of getting fit. Every time I talk to her all I hear is a stream of dialogue that may as well be saying:

"Fitness!! and 1, and 2 and 3 and Run! and 1 and 2 and 3 and mus-cle! and 1 and 2 and 3, I feel like an ath-lete!"

And then I turn to her and groan: "Stop talking about fit-ness!"

Bless her, she stops for a millisecond and then grins: "I'm not just talking about fit-ness!"

She knows very well she is.

From past experience I know that being in the throes of getting fit is addictive once you've estabished a routine and some equally inspired-to-get-fit buddies to help you along the way. My own experiences have been varied.

Like the time I used to run laps on the front lawn under the watchful eye of my sister (who at that time wasn't in the throes of getting fit) and with each lap, I'd gasp:

"Do I look like (insert the name of the school's cross country champion for 1998) when I run?"

Or like the time my sister and I used to jog the streets of our suburb at the crack of dawn, pre- breakfast-- and every day we would be hit with cramping bowels as we conquered the hill from hell.

Or like the time I decided dancing to pop music was best, and so every day the radio would be as high as it could go, and I did star jumps and dance moves interspersed with handstands to work on the all important "upper body strength".

With all my efforts to establish my own fitness routine, I find that the going gets tough in winter and hibernate until the summer warmth inspires me to sweat and stretch some more. For my sister, living in the city has meant that she has additional means to "slot in" extra fitness opportunities at any given time:

"So now what I do is I wake up, then I walk to the gym (which for the record is a good 25 minute walk from her place) and then I work out. Then I walk to work! Then I have breakfast at my desk!"

Add to that, last week she did the Bay Run and this weekend she was pushing for the Bondi to Bronte walk:

"You wanna? It's only a couple of hours! And then there's a cafe we can stop at!"

I weighed up the fun factor and the fact that my Saturday was otherwise free. Plus, I had to admit, her persistence had won me over- so I agreed.

Unluckily, the howling winds of Saturday meant that our joint attempt at combining "fitness and fun!" was not to be. Instead, we did a mammoth walk which probably equalled the Bondi to Bronte walk:

Glebe to Pizza e Birra (Surry Hills) to Pitt Street Mall to Wynward.

By the end of the day, we were both smashed. In a good way. This morning, when I woke up all I could hear was my sister's parting words as we went our separate ways yesterday:

"I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning"

and so I put on my running shoes and went for a long stroll around my hood and ended it by conquering the hill from hell.

Some photos:

Ms MamaChameleon whispers sweet nothings to her roses and they grow to the size of your palm:

We spotted a model shoot in Hyde Park:


Miss DB and Miss BecM on a magnifique Spring day:



Night Noodle Markets:

Bicycle Wall Art at Pizza e Birra. The waiter bid us farewell with a: "Ciao! Ciao bella!" and we were charmed.

My sister- "full of win" and pizza (and fitness):

Sparkle cupcakes!

The biggest dog I've seen in my life. He got super excited when he spotted a bunch of 4 legged long limbed buddies who he thought were one of his kind...

... or so he thought. (You couldn't blame him, he really could have passed for a maneless, bigger and stronger Shetland Pony.)

Feel good forevz...

http://vanshardware.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Picard_full_of_win.jpg

Tell me you can't help but smile when you look at this picture.

This morning, Mr Russia sent it around in celebration of Miss DB's return to work after a couple of days of dreary sickness.

I love how the picture screams restrained joy. He's stoked, without the screeching. Pumping his fist, without the pummeling. Happy as a hero.

Full of Win.