http://ann163125b.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/tn_old_telephone.jpgToday at work we somehow got onto the topic of how little/lot our voices change when we have to answer the phone. We switch on what we reckon is our "professional" voicebox, round out our vowels, lower our pitch and swallow our strines.
Hell, who are we fooling? Biggest frauds ever. The second the phones are down we cackle like uncouth gangters, say things like "wrrd" "hokay" "are you for reals?" and punctuate everything with "that's so stoooopid!"(well I do anyway).
Here's how me and my team transform when we answer the phone:
Miss Tiny: Ordinarily full of giggles and expression, her voice goes a little lower, she carefully enunciates each syllable, clearly, slowly and deliberately.
Miss DB: Normally a happy user of exclamation marks, Miss DB's accent takes on a slightly British turn as she ends each word elegantly in that careful complete way that posh Londoners do.
Mr Smart Abs: Naturally quiet and professional sounding anyway, Mr Smart Abs voice sounds even more authoritative than usual and he speaks in that "thou shalt not question me" way that Roman Emperors would have in the 5th Century of time.
Me: Guilty of making up my own words, putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable, putting on silly voices, today I was told that I sort of become unrecognisable when I hit the phone. Serious as.
Everyone does it. And there's nothing wrong with it. You gotta do what you gotta do to make yourself feel the work groove, right? If there's anything office life has taught me, it's that everyone has a super goofy side that gets tucked away, and left at home because we think that it's the only way to be taken seriously. Probably true, but it's a shame. We spend 80% of our days being boring people. And sometimes you never end up ever seeing someone's super goofy side... and you could've gotten along with them like a house on a hovercraft if you'd only known.
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