Call it what you will: fate, serendipity, the natural order of the world. You wonder why you did things on certain days and why you ended up catching that particular bus, moving to that job, talking to that person about that particular topic. And then you think, somehow it all came together and it all turned out okay. That it will all be okay.
Today was one of those days.
I'm reading "Eat, Love, Pray" by Elizabeth Gilbert. The bit where she's in India and she has this relevation where she realises that she is fine with herself- just the way she is: flaws and all. The book is an inspiring read because she's so empathetic and human. You don't feel inadequate comparing yourself to her, because even though she's clearly incredibly ambitious, successful and focused, she agonises over what she doesn't have and considers herself (to start with), to be a mondo failure.
Generally, I am fine with myself. I like who I am and what I'm doing. But often I focus on my shortcomings, what I'm not good at, what I haven't achieved; what I could be doing, but I'm not-because I'm not motivated enough to explore it fully, organise, plan, look ahead.
While I was reading the book, I realised that everyone's got their issues that they blow up to gigantuous proportions. Then they forget about their strengths and their our individual appeal. With the moral of that chapter ringing loud, I considered that I actually really like tonnes of things about myself. Everyone should- because everyone rocks in their own way. Maybe this is stating the super obvious and it sounds preachy- but really, do we ever actually think about what makes us appealing? Not really, we worry about what we're going to do in the future and what we've been through in the past to get to where we are now. Then we focus on how certain things in the past were tough or cool-- which inevitably leads to either pining for good times gone by, or tentatively congratulating ourselves for getting through that prickly patch.
Anyway, to keep the story going, at the beginning of the week I had no plans for tonight- I was going to come home and watch Friends under the doona with the heater on high. Then Mussus D (who's leaving for Brisvegas to live there for the next three years) emailed to say that she wanted to catch up one final time. I wanted to catch up with her- really I did. But then, I considered that I'd only be able to see her for half an hour if I wanted to catch the last bus home. And Friends under the doona was really so tempting. I sat on the fence, I pondered real hard. I tried to take the altruistic approach and wondered whether it was worth her and my while. Then, I decided that I would go- even if it was only for half an hour. I powerwalked up to the Rocks, and we chatted under the heat of the outside heater. She was chuffed for the catch up- even if it was only a tiny one.
I rushed to the station and caught the train home- I ended up getting to the bus stop with 10 minutes to spare. As I looked into the bus, the bus driver was brooming his vehicle down- he waved and motioned that he would open the door.
Come in and wait- better than being out in the cold he said smiling.
I thanked him and he explained that the heater wasn't working all that well because the heater is driven by the engine and if outside's cold, then the engine's cold, which means that the inside of the bus will also be cold.
Somehow we got talking about things and he ended up sitting opposite me in the four
seater as we waited for the departure time to tick around.
Turns out he used to be a senior marketing manager for a prominent travel company- but he was made redundant last year. Since then he'd been driving buses around on a casual basis. He mused that it was funny how quickly life can change. He sure as hell didn't expect that he'd be driving buses around the suburbs of the north shore. But then again, he pointed out how much he enjoyed it- talking to people, maintaining his bus, observing people's quirks. He hoped that he would be hired full time and then he would be able to pay off his mortgage. He was incredibly optimistic and hopeful.
We got talking about his career background: he started off with an accounting/business degree, but this was swiftly dumped for a low paying job as a travel agent because he realised that his passion was talking to people and travel. Then he rose up the ranks, travelling all over Asia and Australia as he specialised in brand management and advertising. I asked him how he discovered his passion and shared my own doubts about why I am in my chosen profession. He assured me that suddenly it would come to me. And that I should never change myself for any job. Never ever. You are who you are and you should never compromise that.
Comforting, wise words from a guy who's obviously seen a lot and done a lot. We talked so much that he ended up leaving the station 10 minutes past the departure time. When I got off the bus he told me to take care and I told him to stay positive. He said that he would and thanked me for the company.
As I walked home, I considered my own chain of events that led me to that conversation with the bus driver tonight:
I got made redundant. Found my current job. Never would have found current job if I hadn't lost my other one. Borrowed "Eat, Love, Pray" from Miss Tiny at my current job. Probably would never have read the book if I hadn't been made redundant and forced to consider what I actually wanted out of life and the whole spiritual shebang that comes with going through something particularly dramatic. Felt compelled to meet up with Mussus D because she's a friend from my old job. Ended up catching a bus I don't normally catch to talk to uber wise bus driver. Feel much more enriched and like I've learnt something invaluable.
It's all about the natural order of the world, I tell ya.
