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One of the benefits of being unemployed is that in between the procrastinating, job searching and resume tweaking, you have time to really think about life.
As uncomfortable as it is (being without an income or a purpose as you go in and out of each day), you finally have the time and space to go all existentialist without having to make any apologies for it.
I confess that my initial approach after being made redundant was to test out the advice cited by many: “Something will fall into your lap.” i.e. I literally flopped around on the lounge waiting for someone or something to spark the epiphany, bestow me with an opportunity, bounce through my door across the floor and into my tracksuit clad lap and give me the answer. But after a week of this, I lost all faith in the theory and sunk into extended periods where I would just consider what the point of life was. Redundancies are brutal, unfair and make no sense. I knew that. “It’s not you, it’s the economy”- I know that. But the timing of it, the fact that there was no cause for it, (or actually, in my case there apparently was cause for it: “You’re not hard arse enough”) and the fact that it happens without warning, makes you realise how quickly things can change.
While I was working I wanted nothing more to be outside, enjoying the sun, travelling the world, feeling the exhilaration that I felt when I was on exchange. And now, now with all this time, what do I do? Spend my days in front of the computer mirroring my days at work except that I’m not working, but searching, blog-surfing and constantly checking my email. It seems that old habits die hard. That, or I need to start following the principles of the “Lazy Manifesto”(http://zenhabits.net/2009/01/the-lazy-manifesto-do-less-then-do-even-less/).
According to Leo Babauta, life is infinitely better enjoyed if we declutter and do less. Be lazy. Turn into a bonafide sloth. And frankly, I agree. I used to revel in the fact that every minute of my day was filled. I would work full time, do uni full time and my brain would constantly be whirring with all the things I needed to do. Add to that, I was impatient towards anyone who wasn’t as busy as me and told them off for sleeping in, eating too slowly and basically enjoying life the way it should be enjoyed. In other words, I was a great believer in the idea that the only way you could make the most out of life and succeed, is if you were constantly on the go.
But as the Lazy Manifesto suggests, if you have too many things on, you might only be working at 50% capacity because you’re not in the mood to do any of it properly, and furthermore, you’ll be forgetting to smell the roses and enjoying the good things in life. You forget to actually taste your favourite paella because you’re too busy thinking about work tomorrow: sure, it’s going in your mouth and into your slowly expanding waistline (a consequence of too many days and nights at the office in one of those ergonomic chairs that give nothing but back pain), but when the meal’s done and dusted, can you really remember what the flavours were?
When I met up with friends in lunch breaks, the conversation centred around who stayed back the latest, who’s supervisor was the meanest and who’s work was the hardest. Like it's a competition? Who cares?
I’ve decided I’m going to become declutter, simplify and live life in the now. Shall tell you how it goes.
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