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I have this quirk where I deliberately choose to mangle the English language.
Depending on my mood, headspace, and willingness to use my brain, I'll make up words, pluralise where unnecessary, preface each word with the sound of a "h" and say everything with an ultra English accent.
I don't actually know where it came from or why it's emerged as my choice of speech, but here are some common examples and their translation:
1. Harro! Hows are youse? = Affectionate take on "hello, how are you?"
2. "Are you serial????" = "Are you serious" injected with an overriding tone of disbelief
3. "Hoh yeah..." = An expression of embarrassment- usually uttered when I've provided a fantastic display of daftness
4. "See you la-hater" = Bye now, I don't really know how to end this conversation other than to say bye in a mildly entertaining way
5. "How wrrrd" = That so doesn't make sense, my brain does not compute
6. "Hoh my god, what a boombah" = What a hog, taking up the whole seat on the train while I'm squished into the armrest.
7. "I'm trrrd" = I don't feel like talking, I have nothing to say. Please let me go to sleep now.
There are heaps more, I just can't think of them. But I use them so often that Man from Mars has taken to employing some of the terms as his own. In addition, those who know me well hardly bat an eyelid when I string all seven together in the one sentence.
The scary thing is that sometimes when I'm at work being all official and "professional", I catch myself holding my tongue. A few stray "Harro!"s threaten to escape and I realise that if any of these turns of phrase were to make their presence known, my credibility would be shot to smithereens!
Do you think I'm too far gone to untrain myself?
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