Monday, September 7, 2009

Why do bugs come into my bedroom...

http://www.dan-dare.org/FreeFun/Images/CartoonsMoviesTV/BugsLifeWallpaper800.jpg


Last night I sat in bed with the light on for an hour watching Flight of the Conchords on Youtube. No dramas.

Yawn, legs need a stretch and I decide that it's time for some shut eye. Light goes off, computer on hibernate and I watch as the blue screen prepares to fade to black.

Something hard with mighty quick reflexes comes flying at incredible speed towards my head. It buzzes through my fringe: What the frick? I thrash around like a madwoman clawing at my hair. It lands momentarily winded on my quilt and I catch a brief glimpse of it before the screen turns black: Noooo! Don't turn off, I gotta catch the mutant insect!!!

For your information it had a hard yellow shell with purple spots- A retro variation of the ordinary ladybeetle; or so the blue tinge of the final seconds of my computer screen would have me believe... Either way it was an ugly/pretty bug that needed to be identified and captured pronto, otherwise yours truly would not be able to sleep in peace for the rest of the night.

I flipped on the light, grabbed at a Kleenex and in my haste, applied more force than necessary: accidentally killed the ugly/pretty bug. Whoops. I only meant to hold it captive until I could release it back into the wilderness like an animal loving greenie activist. Sort of felt sad for the little thing.

But it occurred to me, as I sat contemplating the ugly/pretty bug's life, that bugs aren't smart if they're going to venture beyond the realms of my backyard, and come into the foreign hinterlands of my bedroom. First of all, there are no other bugs to eat (that I know of) and the ugly/pretty bug would've starved to death anyway. Second of all, there is no other bug community (that I know of) to keep him company- so why do it if all that's going to happen is that you're going to end up hungry and lonely?

My advice to other bugs out there: keep to your playground. Don't be that eccentric explorer who wants to be the hero of the town and forge beyond the outdoor bliss of my backyard... I won't think any less of you are a conformist. There's absolutely nothing wrong with conforming in light of the treacherous terrain and unspeakable danger that comes with venturing into my bedroom.

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