Man from Mars is officially annoying me right now. To the point that I don't want to talk to him ever again.
Maybe I exaggerate, but you know what I mean. I also know that I'm officially annoying him as well and that he wants me to apologise before he'll want to resume being the nice version of himself that he is 98% of the time.
But sue me, I don't want to apologise because I feel like he labelled me selfish, mean, critical and void of any positive qualities worth mentioning.
All I can say is, thank you stars who made us decide that we would spend this weekend in our respective cities- Not only because we're officially annoying each other, but also because it was pissing cats and dogs and if he had come up, the drive back to Canberra would have been windy, wet and miserable.
But back to being annoyed at him.
We had an argument last night- an argument we've had before. It centres on the following:
Man from Mars: I will do anything for my friends- maybe even if they're not my friends. I like helping people and I enjoy it. I don't find anything wrong with this.
Me: I will do anything for my friends, if I know that they would do the same for me. I don't live life wearing rose-tinted glasses and I know that some friends veer closer to being classed as "acquaintances" and frankly, they wouldn't be there for me if I needed them.
This weekend, Man from Mars is showing a high school friend around Canberra. She's from Melbourne and is moving up to Canberra for work, with her boyfriend. In the past, he has driven her and her boyfriend around Canberra as they have searched for accommodation. This weekend, he has driven them from the airport and will drive them to the shops while they pick out essential groceries.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, I never said there was. I am sure they appreciate his help and are grateful to have someone help them in the at times, depressing city, that is Canberra. However, I also think that there's a point where you have to wonder how much they expect of you.
"I offered, they didn't ask", said Man from Mars.
I acknowledge this. But I also tend to think that Man from Mars puts himself in positions where he goes all out for someone, finds that they may not do the same for him- and gets bitten in the arse. Like he has been in the past. What's wrong with a bit of caution?
I said in response that I hoped they appreciated what he was doing and that they showed this. I warned him against people who take advantage of his hospitality and then, after becoming irritated at the school principal voice he uses whenever he's in defence mode, called him "weird".
Which caused him let loose and say a bunch of mean things which I'm sure he meant, but maybe not to the extent that he communicated in his smses.
I know I'm cynical. I don't trust people too quickly and I question their motives, partly because my parents have raised me that way. They have always said that if you go through life with a handful of good friends, then you're good to go. And I believe that- people drift in and out of your life as you move through different phases: your giant group of high school friends is whittled down to two- the rest are replaced with your giant group of uni friends who are whittled again down to maybe three, as you head off to work and find a new group of people to spend time with and get to know.
But I also know that it's stupid of me to "test" people, seeing if they will go that extra kilometre for me, before returning the favour to them. After all, who am I to judge? But it's my defence mechanism, and it's just the way I am. Everyone has their quirks and this is mine.
After all was said and done I didn't reply to his final sms. I can't be bothered. For all the time we have been together, I felt like he didn't really know me at all. And it irritated the bejaysus out of me. Because out of all my friends, with the exception of my family, Man from Mars is my best friend. I tell him absolutely everything. I let him see my witch side and I've seen his. But that doesn't make me a witch. By all accounts I can be testy and impatient and way too critical for my own good, but at the end of the day it's not like I don't dish it out to myself. I'm critical when I make mistakes, sound like a fool on the phone at work or mount the kerb trying to do a simple kerbside stop.
But then again, maybe that's part of the problem- maybe I should just chill on myself and then I'll be able to chill with everything else.
No thanks to Man from Mars, maybe I've figured something out from venting my spleen in this post.
Then again, maybe I do owe it to Man from Mars for living in a different city and not coming up this weekend. After all, a bit of space can do wonders for your own perspective.
No comments:
Post a Comment