Remember the days of the old schoolyard?

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When I was in high school I used to look at other adults on the train and dream about how nice it must be to be finished with school and no longer have to wear a uniform. I considered that 30 years old would be a nice age to be. I would be done with school, done with study and in a nice job with no teachers bossing me around nagging about homework. I wouldn't have to do boring PE anymore, and I would be able to go outside school without a school pass to get a sophisticated lunch from some cute little cafe in that little laneway down the road. Once there, I would sit with my girlfriends and talk about adult things such as work, clothes and boyfriends.

Now I'm 25 and I constantly find myself getting nostalgic about the times I can never get back. I reminisce about primary school, uni days and wish I could go back to Canada where I had the most amazing adventures. I forget that each year of my life was stressful in its own way:

• like the time in year 2 where we were each asked to pick a teacher from all the grades of the school and draw a picture of them. Afterwards, we were required to present our pictures to the teacher of our choice. I chose Mrs Donnelly and I accidentally made her head the size of a peanut (on an A3 piece of paper) and I was so devastated about the fact that her head was so disproportionate to the rest of her body, that I begged my friend to give the picture to Mrs Donnelly. Naturally, Mrs Donnelly loved it and showered me with praise, and in hindsight I decided that I was so silly to have worried;


• like the time in year 10 where I was nervous about going to the school dance because I didn't know how to groove to the music and I didn't want to be the lone wall flower amongst a pulsing crowd of rhythmically talented people. Of course, when I got there, the music took over and I bopped along with the best of them and in hindsight I thought that it was so unnecessary for me to have despaired;
  
• like the times in uni when I left exam study to the absolute last minute and considered my life over if I was to fail a subject. I never failed and in hindsight, even if I had, my life wouldn't have been over;


• like the time when I was in Canada and I spent a large portion of my time stressing about four 10,000 word essays I had to write. I left them all to the last minute and was in such a rage of panic for the final month, that I sometimes wished to be back in Sydney, doing nice familiar Australian study (Canadians are more studious than Aussies, I reckon, that's why I was so stressed). Anyway, I finished them and did pretty well. Now I look back and wish I had appreciated the whole experience more- travelled more, hung out with my international friends more, relaxed a little, savoured it more.

Now I worry about the direction of my career, where I'm going to be in 2 years time, what it is I want from life, when I should buy a property... all that stuff. And yet in the back of my mind, I know that in 5 years' time I'll look back and reminisce about the time I was 25, with no mortgage, no kids, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.

Damn, if only we could all be blessed with the benefit of hindsight right now, we would all be able to appreciate the things we have now so much more.