Nagging Queen...

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Today Miss DB was preparing her porridge in the staff kitchen. She was using an Uncle Toby's Creamy Honey Instant Porridge sachet and as she bustled about getting her bowl and equipment ready, she lamented that:

Whenever I make my porridge, it explodes all over the microwave!! I don't know whyyy!

In response, and in true "I'm a know-it-all and hey look, I'm wearing my proverbial know-it-all harem pants" form I provided an in depth explanation which essentially translated to:

You don't add enough liquid to your oats.

Ohhhh! You think that's it?? she wondered, while only putting enough water to just submerge her oats (for the record, perfect microwave oats require a little more liquid than that- about half a centimetre above the level of the oats). Her outstretched hand reached for her bowl and she strained across me to put the bowl in the microwave.

I had to stop her. I had to save her porridge from its inevitable exploded fate:

Nooo, Man from Mars, you don't--- !!

Miss DB recoiled and stared back at me as if to say:

Huh???!

And then we both started laughing hystercially. I'd mistakenly called Miss DB by Man from Mars' name, not because she resembles him in any way, but because I've nagged Man from Mars that many times about the best way to make instant microwave porridge.

Obviously, I need to get a life and become pro at something other than making microwave porridge!!