Curse those times when you can't stop laughing...

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In high school, I thought silent reading period was torturous and slow. I found it pointless that we should have an hour solely devoted to reading. My silent reading teacher was a strict one as well- as we entered the room, he would ask to view our choice of material (just like the security guard at JB Hi Fi does when you're exiting the store) and if it wasn't by Austen, Bronte or Christie, you could expect to be banished to the library. Not such a bad thing really, but the time I was banished for choosing Lonely Planet France, I was really cheesed off. Who says travel information isn't legit? To be honest, I thought his views on what constituted quality literature, were a little narrow.

Anyway, the bored student that I was, I would spend the period passing notes to one of my girlfriends, who incidentally was one of the funniest girls in the grade. The hours I spent silently crying with laughter, trying not to draw attention to myself by propping my book up in front of my face, or alternatively, pretending to retie my shoelace so that I could laugh safely under the cover of my desk, went into the hundreds. I admit, I was an easy laugh and even more easily entertained, but if only other people weren't so ensconced in their books, they would have realised that so much more fun could be had.

The point is, things are always so much funnier when you can't laugh openly about them. Today, as I sat googling something random at work, I received a forward from that same girlfriend from my silent reading high school days. The floor was silent, everyone was buried in their files, typing, typing typing. It was like high school all over again, except we were 10 years older. I even did the old "have to tie up that rogue shoelace" trick again even though I probably could've laughed out loud. But then I thought to myself, no one looks like a bigger moron than the person who guffaws at their computer and can't find the breath to explain what's so funny... so I regressed back to my old high school ways to keep it real.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the forward, because it's pretty entertaining. It's entitled "Random Thoughts from People 25-35 years old" and I have no idea where she got it from, but whoever wrote it deserves a medal:

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.

3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

5. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

6. Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

7. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

8. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

9. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.

10. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

11. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

12. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

13. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

14. LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

16. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

19. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".

20. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

21. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

22. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

23. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

26. Bad decisions make good stories.

27. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas morning that just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

28. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

29. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

30. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem ...

31. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

32. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

33. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

34. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

35. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

36. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

37. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

38. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

39. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

40. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

41. Why is a school zone 25 km/h? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for paedophiles...- As a driver I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

42. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

43. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

44. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

45. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

46. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

47. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

48. The other night I ordered take away and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.